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Sexual addiction, an umbrella term which includes pornography addiction, is likely the most harmful addiction when it comes to marriages.The reasons for this are numerous and include the shame associated with this addiction for both the addict and the spouse, the sense of betrayal, and stereotypes linked to the addiction.This topic is beyond our scope here, but it is important for a wife to be aware that there is a reason her husband became addicted to porn, and that reason is not her.Breaking up with a narcissist is an emotional roller coaster.Since this is a “process addiction,” versus a chemical addiction, it is so hard for wives to understand. There are many different compartments so that he can divide his life up into separate components that don’t touch each other.This lack of understanding can cause numerous misconceptions to be held as truths and can postpone healing. His marriage and family can be in one compartment, his job in another…you get the point.In his frantic desire to gain a “fix” of narcissistic supply, he will respond in one of two ways.He will either leave, with no remorse or shame for the abuse he has imposed, and seek out a new source of supply or he will immediately swing back into pursuit mode, with the singular goal of winning you back.
They become engrossed in this fantasy world where they don’t have to worry about pleasing anyone but themselves and no emotional connection is required.When a man becomes addicted to pornography, it can become a perceived need rather than a choice for him until he becomes willing to reach out for help.His use of porn causes a release of the same chemicals involved when a drug is ingested.Later I will discuss the kinds of consequences that can catapult an addict into reality.Norman Doidge, psychiatrist and author of the acclaimed book, , studied porn addicts.
If you have read other articles or received support from a therapist on how to break up with a narcissist, you will know that the only viable way to do this is with No Contact.